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| Finally figured out how to do this... |
So it seems strange because last year was a great year for me and my family, but in terms of globally and everything though, not so much. It seems its a bit like it again this year. I have personally done great things this year. But for my family its been a bit of a crap one. And globally, well do I need to explain?
So looking back, its felt like a really long year. Its only in the past few months that its felt like this year is going so fast.
Where to start? Beginning of the year. Its crazy that only mid January did I decide to audition for the national youth theatre. Actually I think it was end of January. I booked my audition and I think I had a week and half to learn my monologue. I was really fortunate that I auditioned for my local college the year before and they gave me a set of monologues to choose from so I just reused that one. Terrible fact to admit and looking back it was such a fluke and not something I would recommend. I had never read the play in which it came from. I know, rule one of picking monologues. Read the play! I did do lots of research into the play. I think I was going to read it but couldn't get it from my local library until after my audition. I did a whole post on my audition, on all my auditions I did actually if you want to read. I plan to do more of those blogs as now we're getting into a new year I have got more auditions planned. I also want to do a video on the national youth theatre as I found myself looking for things like that.
February, March, April flew by, with auditions, failed auditions. A big change this year was I left the drama group I had been with for the last 2ish years. I'd like to say I left on a good note, but sadly not. But although that is the case, I will always have special memories and hold close that the time I was there changed my life for the better. In so many ways, I grew and found my passion.
So not long after I left identity, I was waiting on more auditions. I applied for chickenshed but didn't get in. I was on the waiting list though! And irronicaly on the same day I found out about chickenshed, that evening I got the email letting me know I got into the national youth theatre. In a way I wish someone recorded my reaction because I literally thought I wouldn't get in. I had auditioned and been turned down for pretty much all the auditions I had so wasn't expecting much. Considering the scale of NYT. But somehow I did, including the fact I didnt read the play. I thought I would be auditioning for a few years until I might get accepted. I was told and accepted that they don't normally take people on the first time. I just went to have fun.
Then came the months in between, raising money, receiving a bursary from the National Youth Theatre was when life started to become very difficult. Both of my parents became unwell. You hear people talking about poverty but you never expect it to hit you. Happens to other people.
So we went to London for a month, it was such a weird experience for me because although it wasn't like school, it was. I hadn't been in an environment like school for so long. With people my age, so many different personalities. I have never done that much exercise in my life. I'd like to say I have a better stamina and tolerance for exercise now. I am so happy I made it through. I think part of my struggle was not knowing what to expect, I had never done anything like this. I didnt think I would get in. I didnt even have proper drama lessons at school. So when everyone was quoting Shakespeare or from a well known play. I felt a bit like a fish out of water. I've never done or read Shakespeare. Up until November this year I had never seen a play. Its something that I've always wanted to do but couldn't afford. But it was an experience I will never forget. It strengthened my want and need to perform. I want to spend my life doing it.
By being in London I even conquered one of my greatest fears/struggles - the tube. I have discovered I do have claustrophobia. But travelling is expensive in London and long if you don't go on the tube.
I wanted to go to Oxford street on my afternoon off and knew the quickest way to get there would be the tube. So through gritted teeth, literally I had a face like someone was forcing me to do it, I travelled on the tube and my mum, my brother and I had a great time on Oxford street & Chinatown.
Another thing I conquered this was liquid eyeliner. The amount of eyeliners I have bought hoping I could conquer it. No one will understand how hard eyeliner is if you can't do it. I mean up until a few years ago I had my mum doing most my makeup because I couldn't do it. So liquid eyeliner was the last thing to conquer, thankfully I don't bother with my brows because I guess I'm blessed in the eyebrow department. Lol. Sarcasm.
So we got back from London and I guess things returned to somewhat normality. I had my biggest audition to date. I was so nervous but I enjoyed every minute of it. I mean I think I'm quite good under pressure. My family might disagree. At the end of September I went to the Starfury - Clone Club convention. I loved it. Wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. I mean it was my idea of an ideal weekend. Talking about my favourite tv show with people that loved it as much as I did.
I also had my very first set of headshots done, which was a really weird experience. As I film videos and stick them on youtube though it wasn't as weird. I had my headshots done by a lovely lady called Elle Meadows. She also is an actress and has a youtube channel. It was really lovely because it was really chilled and relaxed. Which is exactly what I wanted.
Then things went quiet for a while, life kind of went back to normal. Christmas happened, it was a quiet Christmas this year. People say its not all about the money at Christmas but if you don't have money it can be pretty depressing.
This year I have seen so many shows and concerts. I went to see Paramore, I'm going to see them again twice in January. I saw Dreamgirls, Hamilton. I saw my first play Of Kith And Kin. I even saw my dream show role Heathers in workshop.
I also have finally gotten direct payments. Yes after two years. I'm dabbling with the idea of writing a blog post about it. It kicked in after we came back from the cvi society. Which was a big hit this year. It was lovely to see everyone again and meet new people. Put faces to names. I can't wait for next year's although I'm going to need to start brainstorming ideas for the next speech otherwise it'll never happen.
So looking back at resoloutions and goals, which I've discovered I cannot achieve my Goodreads goal. I dont know why.
So this year I don't really have any new years resolutions except1. Be happy 2. Do more charity work 3.Be more confident and believe in myself. Be kinder to myself.Yeah lets see if I can do those, Fingers crossed. I would of put read more books or get better at blog post deadlines but I want to actually hopefully keep to my new years resolutions, and I don't think I would be able to achieve those two. LOL!
I don't really do New Years resolutions, because I never normally stick to them. I like to make goals that I can actually achieve . Small targets that are important to me all year round.
I actually did pretty well on being happy. Not all the time but this year I have achieved so much and experienced so many things to be happy about. Doing more charity work, has been put on the backburner this year but I'm hoping next year I shall be doing something. Being more confident and believing in my myself. I'm getting there. I struggled with confidence whilst at NYT, I didnt understand why I was there. That all these people were better then me. Not saying I'm super confident about it all now but they must have seen something.
So yeah I want to work on them again next year. But also to take every opportunity with both hands and embrace it.
So all in all 2017 has been another strange year, in so many ways its been a great year. In terms of my health, experiences, doing so many things and taking the first steps into what I hope to make a career. But also its been a year of difficulty.
Hopefully 2018 will be another good year for me. If its even better then 2016 & 2017 combined then that would be even better but I'll settle for a good year.
I do plan to post more on here and on youtube, don't hold me to it though. I will try!
So goodbye 2017, hello 2018!
Until next time
Sophie
