Me Before You - A conversation on the controversy

Hi I'm back and you're probably expecting a premiere post about the Me Before You premiere. But I didn't go. Partly because I wasn't up for it, like I didn't feel like going. But also I didn't want to go partly due to the controversy that has sparked up in light of this movie and the issues it broaches. I didn't want to go because as a disabled person myself I kind of doubted myself. I saw that there was a protest at the premiere, it was right next to the disabled pen as I saw some of my friends in the pictures from the premiere. I didn't want to be associated with it. Not in a bad way but because I just wanted to enjoy myself at the premiere.  I didn't know whether I should go, and if it was right for me to be a fan of the book, because so many people hated it. if that makes sense.


But yes I kind of had strong feelings about the issues it brings up. Now I just want to say I understand not everyone shares my views, just like I may not agree with your views. So in fairness to everyone, if you disagree maybe just stop reading. I don't want to alienate or offend anyone. Just know there will be a less controversial post, about books up next week. Or if you are new to my blog but don't want to read this, I have lots more that you may enjoy -

So another quick note, I watched a video on this topic by Sarah Jane who is a booktuber and I thought the points she brought up were very true. So heres the link to that video, I am going to be referencing a lot of the points she mentioned as well.

As a disabled person I find this issue a very relevant and close to home issue. I am visually impaired and have physical disabilities, I do use a wheelchair but I am not confined to my wheelchair. I have been debating this post because it is an issue that is quite controversial. And I don't want to put myself out there incase of a backlash if that makes sense.
 But this book has multiple points of contention and I want to put my point out there. I am going to go over each of the points that have arose issues.

So the story follows a man named Will, who 2 years prior was in a motorbike accident and became a quadriplegic. And Lou who is hired as his carer. I'm sure if you know about the controversy this movie and book has stirred up you may be familiar with either the book or the film. I have read a lot on peoples opinions on this and with things like the highly shared Huffington Post and Telegraph article and what kind of bugged me the most was that some hadn't even seemed to read the book. I know not everyone is going to enjoy the book but I feel like if you haven't even tried to read the book how can you judge it fairly. if that makes sense. Like its alright to say after trying the book these are my opinions but its a bit different if you haven't because you haven't got the full picture if that makes sense. Please don't hate me for that opinion!

So first of all we have the issue of the casting of Sam Claflin as Will Trainer. First of all Sam Claflin from what I have seen of him in movies is a really good actor, I loved him in Love Rosie.
Is he disabled? No. And its kind of hard because there is a pivotal scene in the book that has to be in the movie of Will before his accident. So it makes it kind of difficult to have someone fully wheelchair bound to be cast as him. That is not to say this shouldn't be the push to have more awareness and to push the movie industry to hire disabled actors and to have stories involving disability. 
I know a lot of people have been saying well you wouldn't hire a white actor to play a black role, I counterpose that with people don't hire people with cancer to play people with cancer. If that makes sense. Its a touchy issue but I feel we need to push for it, push the movie industry for diverse characters. Black, White, Gay,Straight, disabled, alien.  But also I from what I've seen so far of the movie, Sam Claflin embodies the character well, and he is a very good Will Trainer.  And who is to say that by hiring a disabled actor that they will be suited to act the role. Hiring someone who is disabled doesn't necessarily make them a great actor if that makes sense. I hope that makes sense and doesn't offend anyone.

And for me the disabled aspects were the parts of this book I really loved. Like when Lou was pointing out how inaccessible places are. Because thats true. A lot of places are inaccessible. Maybe having it highlighted on the big screen might give places the push to make everywhere accessible to everyone. It kind of disheartened me when I saw people didn't seem to notice that aspect. Because quite frankly that is a big bug bare to me as a disabled person that places I want to go are not accessible so I was a little surprised when fellow disabled people missed that point out. Or that people either stare at you in pity or in disgust. Not so much when I'm in my wheelchair do they stare but when I'm using my long cane the stares are unbelievable. You have the pity ones like they think its such a shame. Or I have those one that just stare in disgust like i've just sprouted a third eye. Which I'd like to point out would not make me see any better! So I hope again having it highlighted would challenge people to acknowledge that and maybe think twice. Then again I did have this women, while I was out with my dad say to him 'she's so pretty', like I could neither hear nor see. Or that its going to boost my confidence. No its just condescending, I am 18 years old I am fully aware of what your saying. Im not a pet dog or a baby. 
Sorry that really annoyed me, that was the first time something like that had happened. 
Another thing that I felt was a sore point was the physical romance between Lou and Will. Basically they don't have sex, and its weird because this is not what the story is about. If that makes sense. When they admit they love each other, its quite fraught as Lou knows Will is not changing his mind. So it never crosses either of their minds. Its not suggesting that neither of them doesn't want to but at that point in the story there is other things on each of their minds if that makes sense. And also sex is very intimate so for both of them that might be too far, because of Wills final decision. It just might be a way of protecting each other from that heartbreak

 Now onto the more sensitive topic, and I am very afraid about posting this because it is such a decisive subject. Assisted Suicide. 
Now this book, if you viewed it as an opinion on disability and assisted suicide you could view it as quite damaging, but for me I don't see it as an opinion. Its about a persons right to chose. Not the whole disabled community's right to chose. Its really about one mans right to chose. His right to chose how he lives, his wishes. Despite how much someone may love him.
 Who are we to say that be it fictional or real that they don't have that right. Because in the case of this book and movie everyones opinion is valid. Everyone has their right to their opinion and its not a wrong opinion but in that opinion we have to be acknowledge this is quite a sensitive subject. Again its not speaking for everyone, one persons choices are not everyones. Its like the scene in the book where when Will goes to Switzerland, Lou talks to her support group who have similar disabilities to Will who tell her its his choice but its not their choice, they don't think down that route if that makes sense. 
In Sarah Janes video she also mention what would the reaction be if the story ended up with Lou having changed Wills mind.
And I think that if the story had gone down the road of Will changing his mind that could be damaging for the exact opposite reasons. It would suggest that, yes you are not able to walk or that your health is poor because that doesn't matter because as long as you are loved its fine. That if you love someone enough they will change their mind. Which is damaging to people who contemplate assisted suicide because it suggests they simply weren't loved enough. Which is just as damaging.

I frankly really enjoyed the book and I have booked my tickets to see the movie. I don't feel this movie is trying to say being disabled is a burden and that disabled people are better off dead. I feel its a story about living the life you want. But also the ability to chose. One mans right to chose. I mean who is anyone to say that you don't have a right to chose. 

One final thing that I guess you could say kind of annoyed me was the difference in reaction to this compared to something like The Fault in Our Stars or Now is Good. Because I found some of the portrayals of cancer in modern day films to be quite poor and un informed. Like in The fault in our stars, there is a scene where she says she is going for an MRI but she's in a CT scanner. It just bugged me because why label something that it isn't. I know MRI's are magnetic and probably not suitable to film in a movie for various reasons but just call it what it is then? Ive had numerous CTs and MRI's.
It just bugged me that some of the portrayals were not exactly lifelike. 
I guess one of the issues that need to be tackled is the subject of disability and the lack of research in film and tv. If you can't get someone with either a disability or history of cancer or an insight into it, at least do your research into it to make it believable. Because I have seen people talking about other movies and tv shows saying how the portrayal is not correct even if they have an actor with that disability. I think its not just about hiring an actor with disabilities its about making sure you  have the correct research and you thoroughly research things like if you have a disability or an illness, to get perspective. That is also very important. I don't understand why this film is being singled out, we should be tackling it as a whole. All films and tv with an element of disability and illness that are not exactly correct. 
I also see it as a case of if you see things you don't agree with change it. You don't see disability being represented correctly change that. Write a book, Write a film, Change perceptions. 
I mean I know its not as simple as that but that is one step to changing things, use your experience.

I also understand that assisted suicide is not everyones cup of tea per se but when I broke my elbow I became stuck. Not that I was very independent before, but all that I could do before was wiped away. I couldn't get dressed and I still struggle, I can't write for more than 5 minutes, I couldn't come up or down the stairs. I couldn't cope and i'll admit I didn't see myself with any quality of life. I was clearly depressed. And that I was one thing I wish maybe was explored in the book because one thing I could clearly see was that just like me Will was severely depressed. And quite rightly in both our cases, had just experienced a massively life altering accident. Would things have gone down a different route if he had gotten help? Maybe but at the same time not. Because as much as getting help has helped me, there are days that are tough, not just because of my elbow but because of my disability as a whole. I'm not saying being disabled is bright and breezy, its not. But I am happy most of the time. Dark moments are dark but the good times are good.
Some people have more dark moments than others. But at the end of the day who is anyone to tell people that choosing a path they wouldn't necessarily chose is wrong. It's almost a case of walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Everyone is different but everyones choices are valid and everyones opinions are valid. Everyones lives are valid and important and precious.

I hope you enjoyed or found this post interesting, I have been meaning to do it since I didn't go to the premiere and I did take inspiration from Sarah Janes video. Its a very cautious line, I when I first found out about the backlash against the movie and book, was really annoyed. Almost because it was being suggested all disabled people had an issue with it when I really loved the book and I probably am going to love the movie. So I've been trying to appropriately write my thoughts without offending anyone. Because thats not what I'm out to do. I'm just trying to put a different opinion out there but also acknowledge that we all have the right to our opinions. All opinions on this subject are right. 

Thank you for reading, I'm sure this will be run past my mum before I hit publish. I hope you haven't blacklisted my blog or youtube channel for my views! 
Thank you again, I'll be back with another book post next week.
Oh also I have a new video on my youtube, free promo, so heres the link - Youtube
And my next orphan black video will be up on friday!
Until next time
Sophie