When life gives you disability

Hi, so this is aptly titled "When life gives you disability" so I guess from that you can work out that this post is about my disability/illness. Fun topic! haha

So I guess all my problems started when I was 12 months old and I was diagnosed with a type of brain tumour called a medullablastoma(I think that's how to spell it- lol) . apparently if I had been diagnosed earlier than when I had I wouldn't be here as the treatment I had my consultant had just been to a type of conference where it was mentioned. So luck was on my side I guess in that instance. I had chemo, I didn't have radiation. They perfomed surgery to remove it and also in the process removed a good deal of my cerebellum, so now I have poor balance. I also had whats called an omar reservoir stuck in for good measures, no I'm only joking it was put in my head as part of the treatment. that's what the treatment was they put the resovoire in your head and the chemo gets put in that so it goes directly to the source in a sense. I also have indentions from where I had lines put in- I'm not too sure what there called, and I think my mum still has the lines somewhere?! So I have been free of cancer for 15 years now, which is amazing. Especially as they stopped the type of treatment that I had because it was too toxic, I think, which it was when you weigh it up. but then I think any treatment for a brain tumour is going to be toxic because the brain is one of the most vital organs in our body. So if you put some poison inside the brain of course there will be some repercussion. I read somewhere someone wrote that they thought having a brain tumour/brain cancer is the worst type to have as it just destroys the person. Which in some sense I agree, I don't want to say one type of cancer is worse than the other but a brain tumour really does change the person causing irreparable damage.

my vision is also an issue, I have tunnel vision but only out of one eye at a time, which at times is a really crap thing to deal with because I cant go out anywhere without someone with me. But that's why me and my mum are so close we literally do everything together lol.

I also have hydrocephalus which I was diagnosed with at 9 - 10 years old. Hydrocephalus is a build up of fluid in the brain and for me caused me to have debilitating headaches from the pressure in my head, which I still have from time to time. To help manage the pressure from the fluid buildup, I had a shunt fitted, there's a valve in my head and then a tube connected that runs down to my stomach, so it drains into my stomach. you can even feel the tube in the side of my neck, haha. Although I vividly remember my doctor saying if this had been left undetected for much longer I could've died. Which is pretty scary but in a sense you just do what you have to do because I've lived like this for so long now I don't know any other way then to just plod along and deal with the setbacks.

So this past year I had some tests done on my brain to see whether it had any damage done to it that we don't know about, and we found out -
My memory is really horrific
I have the maths age of a 8 year old- seriously!
my processing is not good either
Amongst other things I cant really remember.
I mean those things are not that big of a surprise really for me as I've always known that my memory is terrible and my maths is - I don't think theres a word for that haha.
I also have ataxia which is poor balance and I walk with a wide gait which i'm not too sure why I do I just do
 In September 2013, I fractured my elbow and ripped the tricep off and now I am left with an elbow that doesn't straighten properly!
To top my lovely list of illnesses and disability off, my dad had a blood clot in his leg last year and he had tests run to see if he has any blood disorders. Turns out he did, so his doctor said to test his children, so I was tested (my brothers are still need to be tested) and turns out I have Factor V Leiden. its a disorder where you are more likely to develop a blood clot. Which is just great! When I found out me and mum joked lifes just trying to bump me off, lol.

I also have anxiety, massively so, not that you'd be able to tell because my therapist says I'm very good at hiding my true feelings and worries, lol.

 I also suffer from things like being very slow, and tired all the time which have no diagnosis or reason behind. 

So that's me, its a list! but after reading this I don't want people to feel sorry for me because that's not what I need, I just need to get on with life. I don't want to say I'm this happy person who is an inspiration, i'm not, far from it. its just you learn to adjust. sure there are days where you wish you had a different tumour or it never happened at all. theres a lot of those days. there are also days where you remember all the things you've experienced because of everything and the things that make me who I am today. I love those days. But in all honesty most of the time I don't think about it, because unless its mentioned, theres no need to. I just get on with it.
I dont feel like I'm one of those people who never complain though, I mean just ask my family! But coming from someone who couldn't walk or anything when I was ill and the first few years of my life to a 16 year old, who still with a lot of problems lol, is just taking one day at a time.

Thanks for reading- you deserve a medal for reading the epic saga that is my life, I tried to mention everything, My memory is not all it seems haha.
Na'night,