The time Sophie went to parliament!

Hi, yes you did read that right, I went to Parliament!!
About 2 months ago I did a presentation on Visual Impairment for the home educated youth group I go to, with Sharon and Lisa who I had been doing habilitation training with.
well then a couple of weeks later Sharon called me and asked me if I wanted to speak at Parliament for Blind Children UK! Obviously I said yes!! That is part of the reason I haven't posted on here lately, I have kind of been busy writing my speech! I had a few pointers I had to include in my speech, things including how had blind children helped me.
So yesterday we got the train to Kings Cross station to meet Tracey. Tracey is a habilitation worker like Sharon, Lisa and Kirsty and was going to accompany us. What was lovely was Traceys aim was to make the day as stress free and relaxed as possible. We also met up with two boys, Theo and Luke who also have visual impairments. They came as they want to campaign on behalf of Blind Children Uk too. I had been told a week or two ago that I may be the only one apart from the CEO of Blind Children UK and an MP who invited them to campaign in Parliament for the week, to do a speech. Well a couple of days ago I was emailed the schedule of the event and well yeah I was the only one doing a speech.  I think my mum was more nervous than me though! We all got the taxi to the Houses of Parliament and we went through security. For anyone that wants to visit the Houses of Parliament, the security is very much like airport security even though i've never been to an airport. But the staff were very nice noticing my stick and helping me through. My mum said there was a difference when I went through security to when Theo, who didn't have a cane, went through security.


So we made our way into the entrance and this nice man took us in the lift and showed us to the upper waiting hall which was where the event was. We even had a bit of a sneaky tour. When we got to the upper waiting hall we were swiftly introduced to Jenn who I had spoken to about my speech. We also met the CEO of Blind Children UK, who was very nice and supportive about my speech. Unfortunately I didn't get to meet Ellen, who I had emailed a lot before the event. I also spoke to two other members of the Blind Children UK team but I can't remember their names but they were really nice.

One thing that really made me feel almost at ease was that everyone pretty much had a symbol cane or a long cane. I have never seen so many long/symbol canes in one room ever, i'm used to it being me. That is something I have always wanted to do, meet more people like me.

When we were in the taxi, Tracey showed us this 4 page list of who said they were going to attend the opening event, which was an invite only ceremony. So I was kind of disappointed that not many MPs were there. There was even one young man who had been asked by his boss to check it out. I felt disappointed for Blind Children Uk, because I had been involved in the event since February, so you can imagine how long they have been planning the event. I just think if you say your going to come, come.

So then we had the speeches, time for my anxiety to go up a notch! First up was the MP who had invited Blind Children UK to hold this event.  Then it was the CEO of Blind Children Uk, during his speech I had to go up to be ready to speak next. I asked Tracey to come up with me, partly because I wanted her to hold my cane so I could hold my papers with my speech on them. And also So I didnt completely fall apart with nerves!!

Well I didn't fall apart and I did my speech although half way through they started to ring the bell that meant MPs had to go vote, as they were having a vote on the day we went. Also my mum recorded it so I saw watching it back how many people walked through and past me. I mean rude, I am talking!! Joking, thankfully I didn't notice them, one benefit of having tunnel vision! But I am glad I had Tracey there and the CEO was almost guarding us to stop people walking into me.

Its me, speaking in my parliament. I still have that lanyard badge as a souvenir.

My mum and I at parliament with Tracey who accompanied us and made the experience stress free. Thank you Tracey!

So yes I spoke in Parliament. We did have the option to go to a buffet with Blind Children UK but my mum and I decided against it because it had been a long day and Tracey wasn't going so it might have been a little awkward not really knowing anyone. So Tracey, my mum and I headed home although we did stop in the gift shop to buy a souvenir or two of the day. Whilst in their one of the families who had been at the event recognised me and said my name. I had a moment of 'How does this lady know my name?' But then she said she heard my speech, I was like ohh yeah whoops!

photo taken by my mum.
After an amazing evening, this was our view.

So my mum and I got in a taxi with Tracey back to Kings Cross and we said bye to Tracey. We had a while to wait for the train so we had a look in a few shops. Did I ever mention I nearly ran Sam Smiths guitarist over in my wheelchair? Yeah in american apparel in kings cross station, on the way to One Direction playing Wembley stadium! Yeah we tell everyone we kind of met Sam Smith! But yes going off topic there, we went to pret and had something to eat and drink. Pret's croissant with cheese and tomato is delicious, it tastes like a pizza. My mum and I have decided we have to go there on the way to Adele!
Then we got the train home and ordered a takeaway, which my dad went and got.

It was an amazing day, one I will always remember. I felt so honoured by Blind Children UK for asking me to speak for them. I received an email from Ellen the next day asking if I wanted to write a blog post for their website about the day! So keep your eyes out for that.
In even more exciting news, I have off the back of my speech been asked to do a speech for the Cortical Visual Impairment Societys event in November! Which I am so excited for, my mum and I planned to go anyway as I have a cortical visual impairment and it would be nice to meet people who either are like me or their children are like me, but to be asked to speak at the event is even more exciting!
And that is my time in Parliament!
Next week: ADELE!!!

Thank you all for reading!
Until next time
Sophie

Me Before You : The Movie Review

So I went to see Me Before You. As you know especially if you read my piece on the controversy this movie has stirred up, that I am a massive fan of this book and I don't necessarily agree with the criticism this movie is getting. Especially since the book was released a couple of years ago with non of this commotion. But I digress, this is my review of the movie. 

So I went to the cinema with my mum to see this movie, we go see all the cheery movies we do. I mean getting to the cinema was a bit of a palava because our most local cinema is shut for renovations so that meant we had to go to the next nearest cinema. Which I haven't been to in years but they two have been having renovations. But it was all very confusing, gone are the screens that tell you  what screenings are where and when. Gone also is the ticket desk which is normally where I would go to buy my tickets. This time I pre booked my tickets and I had no idea what to do with them and where to go. It wasnt clearly signposted. I mean thank goodness my mum comes with me everywhere because other I would have had no clue what to do. But eventually we sorted the ticket business out and headed to the screening. 

Now this movie was probably one of the best book to movie adaptions I have seen. There was certain plot points in the book that did get cut. The support group and Louisas back story were two of those edits. I don't think it affected it too much. Especially in the case of Louisa's back story, her sexual assault/rape, whilst I enjoyed that element because it explained things like Louisa's dress sense and her contentness in her life. I think maybe if it had been included it could of changed the tone of the film. I think the film was not a joyful film but a film to make you appreciate life. It was quite a heavy movie without it so adding it in could have made it too much. The plot point I do wish they had included was the support group. Not necessarily because it changed the film, the movie flowed without it, but because then people who criticise the movie for its disability portrayal couldn't say they didn't have both sides of the assisted suicide conversation.

Now I want to give a special shout out to Sam Claflin. I found his portrayal of Will Traynor a really great one. I pictured him this with razor sharp wit, acerbic tongue, sarcastic with a dark humour. I feel Sam Claflin brought this. His posture as Will I found fascinating, he didn't just half do it, he full on put his all into it. I read numerous articles where he said he researched into it and how to portray it as honestly and as real as possible. I really applaud Sam Claflin. I feel he really fit the role. 

Louisa Clark, aw she is such a lovely character who is just like an ordinary girl. Her charisma and charm. Her character is one of those characters that you just gravitate towards. I feel Emilia Clarke portrayed her perfectly. She adds a spark to Lou and empathy which I think is critical to Louisa.

Lou and Treenas sisterly relationship was lovely, obviously it didn't go deep into it like they do in the book but I think it again, might have brought a different element to the film. I loved seeing their friendship and how they looked after each other. Especially the scene when Treena drops Lou off at the airport when she goes to Switzerland. It was a real moment of 'I will stick by your decision, no matter what I think.' 

In the book I wasn't a fan of Will's parents, especially Mr Traynor. I like how they cut out Mr Traynors affair. I found that apart from Mrs Traynors chapter, they were both quite cold after everything with Will. It left them quite cold. Whereas in the film, they were still cold, but they had this element of humanity about them that I didn't get in the book. 

Oh the restaurant scene, it was one of my favourites in the book and its one of my favourites in the movie. The lines, the way it was set. I loved it. I mean the humour in this movie was great, I mean apart from the end it wasn't this depressing movie that people may think it is. I mean I do think some of the humour was a bit lost on the audience. Like some of the scenes were funny, but funny in the sense that its real life. If that makes sense. Or that this is what people portray disabled people like that. So I think some of that was lost on the non disabled audience. Like in the background of a lot of the scenes at the Traynor house was a shower chair. Like that is big, although not in use, its something you don't see in movies. It was a step in the right direction for me, that things like that are becoming normal. As someone who has used bath boards and chairs to get you in and out the bath it was nice to see. We never would have seen that just a few years ago!

Thats what I think this movie did best, that although Will's choice in the end is heartbreaking, the movie didn't dwell on that. Instead they highlighted all the good things, but also how much Will's life had changed and how in his eyes his quality of life had dramatically changed. They showed that whilst it wasn't his friends and families choice, they went along with it because it was his choice, his choice in his life which he doesn't have much control over. 

I feel the end scenes where handled beautifully, they didn't have any scenes of Will during the assisted suicide or of him dying which I think was a good choice. It was just beautifully handled. Sensitively handled. 
And then that scene with Lou in Paris was exactly like in the book and the 'live boldly just live' line was bittersweet. 

I really loved the soundtrack as well, the music just fit the movie to a tee. From X Ambassadors 'Unsteady' which I loved to the 1975 'The Sound'. All the songs just magically fit in with the movie.

All in all this movie is probably one of the best book to movie adaptions, apart from the support group, I didn't really miss the parts from the book they omitted. I recommend you go watch this movie, you might be surprised. I didn't end up crying , my mum did though. I really enjoyed this movie and if you do go watch this I recommend tissues!

So this was my review of Me Before You. Have you seen the movie, did you enjoy it? 
Hope you are well.
Until next time 
Sophie

Why I love reading?

Hi today I wanted to do a post on books but also adding in my disability. I write a lot about my general life on here and also about my love for books. So I thought why not merge the two. Because when I tell people I'm visually impaired and a massive reader people kind of balk at me. Its weird Its almost like life decided to play a cruel joke on me, to make my life even more ironic!

You may know about services to visually impaired people that offer enlarged books or audiobooks but I have never used them. Not to say they are not very useful services but just something I have never wanted to use. Which when I tell people that they don't particularly understand my decision. So I guess this post is also to help people understand that as well. My sight is a tricky thing, I have a CVI which is much more recognised in America than in England. For the sight I have, I see well. But lest forget that I have tunnel vision and can only see straight ahead. I also only see out of one eye at a time, and I have a squint in both eyes and I don't see 3D. I have only just started accepting help, in terms of blind children uk and using a long cane, which up until a few years ago I didn't want anyone to know I couldn't see.
I can read normal size books, its a lot more strain on my eyes and I have to hold it pretty near to my face, but I prefer to read straight from the bookshop even if it may take me longer to read the book. I feel that is part because I want to give off the appearance of being normal, even if I never read on places like the train or in the car because I need to be still and the page needs to be still. I also like having the actual cover because a lot of the time with bigger books the binding is quite boring I guess and it doesn't keep the book cover. Its also more expensive I believe, and as they have bigger writing, the book is obviously going to be bigger in size and one book would take a lot more space up on my bookshelf. I mean really they are my superficial reasons.
The reason I don't use audio books as much as I have tried with them quite a few times is because I like to imagine the characters voice in my head, how they sound and how I think they would look based on a voice and an image I get from reading off a page. But with an audiobook, it takes away that image as someone is putting there view onto you. If that makes sense.

I love reading, I have done since I was little. I am unable to do a lot of things, I can't go out on my own, I don't have many friends. I can't go for a bath on my own or wash my hair. Basic things I cannot do. So to read has always been my way of being able to do something. I don't need anybody or anything to help me read. It's something I guess you could say I am very good at. My first book obsessions were Cathy Cassidy's books. Dizzy, Sundae Girl, Ginger Snaps and Indigo Blue. I have shockingly never read the whole of the Harry Potter series, I did read the first one and never really felt blown away. One day I might pick it up again and read the whole series. I have a great love of literature. It gives me the ability to take on another person and live a different life. One day I could be a supernatural creature, the next I could be a normal teenage girl with a mafia family moving in. There is a quote that has always stuck by me 'Someone who doesn't read lives only 1 life, Someone who reads lives a thousand.' When I broke my elbow and my life went downhill, it was a comfort for me, it still is. It's an escape from the daily monotony that is my life. I can take on that characters life. I am no longer me. If only for a chapter a day.

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into why I love reading. I really wanted to do this to show you how much reading has helped me. Its one of the passions of my life.
I have a video going up at the same as this post,
Heres the link if you want to watch it -
Sneaky promo!
So thank you for reading,
until next time,
Sophie

Me Before You - A conversation on the controversy

Hi I'm back and you're probably expecting a premiere post about the Me Before You premiere. But I didn't go. Partly because I wasn't up for it, like I didn't feel like going. But also I didn't want to go partly due to the controversy that has sparked up in light of this movie and the issues it broaches. I didn't want to go because as a disabled person myself I kind of doubted myself. I saw that there was a protest at the premiere, it was right next to the disabled pen as I saw some of my friends in the pictures from the premiere. I didn't want to be associated with it. Not in a bad way but because I just wanted to enjoy myself at the premiere.  I didn't know whether I should go, and if it was right for me to be a fan of the book, because so many people hated it. if that makes sense.


But yes I kind of had strong feelings about the issues it brings up. Now I just want to say I understand not everyone shares my views, just like I may not agree with your views. So in fairness to everyone, if you disagree maybe just stop reading. I don't want to alienate or offend anyone. Just know there will be a less controversial post, about books up next week. Or if you are new to my blog but don't want to read this, I have lots more that you may enjoy -

So another quick note, I watched a video on this topic by Sarah Jane who is a booktuber and I thought the points she brought up were very true. So heres the link to that video, I am going to be referencing a lot of the points she mentioned as well.

As a disabled person I find this issue a very relevant and close to home issue. I am visually impaired and have physical disabilities, I do use a wheelchair but I am not confined to my wheelchair. I have been debating this post because it is an issue that is quite controversial. And I don't want to put myself out there incase of a backlash if that makes sense.
 But this book has multiple points of contention and I want to put my point out there. I am going to go over each of the points that have arose issues.

So the story follows a man named Will, who 2 years prior was in a motorbike accident and became a quadriplegic. And Lou who is hired as his carer. I'm sure if you know about the controversy this movie and book has stirred up you may be familiar with either the book or the film. I have read a lot on peoples opinions on this and with things like the highly shared Huffington Post and Telegraph article and what kind of bugged me the most was that some hadn't even seemed to read the book. I know not everyone is going to enjoy the book but I feel like if you haven't even tried to read the book how can you judge it fairly. if that makes sense. Like its alright to say after trying the book these are my opinions but its a bit different if you haven't because you haven't got the full picture if that makes sense. Please don't hate me for that opinion!

So first of all we have the issue of the casting of Sam Claflin as Will Trainer. First of all Sam Claflin from what I have seen of him in movies is a really good actor, I loved him in Love Rosie.
Is he disabled? No. And its kind of hard because there is a pivotal scene in the book that has to be in the movie of Will before his accident. So it makes it kind of difficult to have someone fully wheelchair bound to be cast as him. That is not to say this shouldn't be the push to have more awareness and to push the movie industry to hire disabled actors and to have stories involving disability. 
I know a lot of people have been saying well you wouldn't hire a white actor to play a black role, I counterpose that with people don't hire people with cancer to play people with cancer. If that makes sense. Its a touchy issue but I feel we need to push for it, push the movie industry for diverse characters. Black, White, Gay,Straight, disabled, alien.  But also I from what I've seen so far of the movie, Sam Claflin embodies the character well, and he is a very good Will Trainer.  And who is to say that by hiring a disabled actor that they will be suited to act the role. Hiring someone who is disabled doesn't necessarily make them a great actor if that makes sense. I hope that makes sense and doesn't offend anyone.

And for me the disabled aspects were the parts of this book I really loved. Like when Lou was pointing out how inaccessible places are. Because thats true. A lot of places are inaccessible. Maybe having it highlighted on the big screen might give places the push to make everywhere accessible to everyone. It kind of disheartened me when I saw people didn't seem to notice that aspect. Because quite frankly that is a big bug bare to me as a disabled person that places I want to go are not accessible so I was a little surprised when fellow disabled people missed that point out. Or that people either stare at you in pity or in disgust. Not so much when I'm in my wheelchair do they stare but when I'm using my long cane the stares are unbelievable. You have the pity ones like they think its such a shame. Or I have those one that just stare in disgust like i've just sprouted a third eye. Which I'd like to point out would not make me see any better! So I hope again having it highlighted would challenge people to acknowledge that and maybe think twice. Then again I did have this women, while I was out with my dad say to him 'she's so pretty', like I could neither hear nor see. Or that its going to boost my confidence. No its just condescending, I am 18 years old I am fully aware of what your saying. Im not a pet dog or a baby. 
Sorry that really annoyed me, that was the first time something like that had happened. 
Another thing that I felt was a sore point was the physical romance between Lou and Will. Basically they don't have sex, and its weird because this is not what the story is about. If that makes sense. When they admit they love each other, its quite fraught as Lou knows Will is not changing his mind. So it never crosses either of their minds. Its not suggesting that neither of them doesn't want to but at that point in the story there is other things on each of their minds if that makes sense. And also sex is very intimate so for both of them that might be too far, because of Wills final decision. It just might be a way of protecting each other from that heartbreak

 Now onto the more sensitive topic, and I am very afraid about posting this because it is such a decisive subject. Assisted Suicide. 
Now this book, if you viewed it as an opinion on disability and assisted suicide you could view it as quite damaging, but for me I don't see it as an opinion. Its about a persons right to chose. Not the whole disabled community's right to chose. Its really about one mans right to chose. His right to chose how he lives, his wishes. Despite how much someone may love him.
 Who are we to say that be it fictional or real that they don't have that right. Because in the case of this book and movie everyones opinion is valid. Everyone has their right to their opinion and its not a wrong opinion but in that opinion we have to be acknowledge this is quite a sensitive subject. Again its not speaking for everyone, one persons choices are not everyones. Its like the scene in the book where when Will goes to Switzerland, Lou talks to her support group who have similar disabilities to Will who tell her its his choice but its not their choice, they don't think down that route if that makes sense. 
In Sarah Janes video she also mention what would the reaction be if the story ended up with Lou having changed Wills mind.
And I think that if the story had gone down the road of Will changing his mind that could be damaging for the exact opposite reasons. It would suggest that, yes you are not able to walk or that your health is poor because that doesn't matter because as long as you are loved its fine. That if you love someone enough they will change their mind. Which is damaging to people who contemplate assisted suicide because it suggests they simply weren't loved enough. Which is just as damaging.

I frankly really enjoyed the book and I have booked my tickets to see the movie. I don't feel this movie is trying to say being disabled is a burden and that disabled people are better off dead. I feel its a story about living the life you want. But also the ability to chose. One mans right to chose. I mean who is anyone to say that you don't have a right to chose. 

One final thing that I guess you could say kind of annoyed me was the difference in reaction to this compared to something like The Fault in Our Stars or Now is Good. Because I found some of the portrayals of cancer in modern day films to be quite poor and un informed. Like in The fault in our stars, there is a scene where she says she is going for an MRI but she's in a CT scanner. It just bugged me because why label something that it isn't. I know MRI's are magnetic and probably not suitable to film in a movie for various reasons but just call it what it is then? Ive had numerous CTs and MRI's.
It just bugged me that some of the portrayals were not exactly lifelike. 
I guess one of the issues that need to be tackled is the subject of disability and the lack of research in film and tv. If you can't get someone with either a disability or history of cancer or an insight into it, at least do your research into it to make it believable. Because I have seen people talking about other movies and tv shows saying how the portrayal is not correct even if they have an actor with that disability. I think its not just about hiring an actor with disabilities its about making sure you  have the correct research and you thoroughly research things like if you have a disability or an illness, to get perspective. That is also very important. I don't understand why this film is being singled out, we should be tackling it as a whole. All films and tv with an element of disability and illness that are not exactly correct. 
I also see it as a case of if you see things you don't agree with change it. You don't see disability being represented correctly change that. Write a book, Write a film, Change perceptions. 
I mean I know its not as simple as that but that is one step to changing things, use your experience.

I also understand that assisted suicide is not everyones cup of tea per se but when I broke my elbow I became stuck. Not that I was very independent before, but all that I could do before was wiped away. I couldn't get dressed and I still struggle, I can't write for more than 5 minutes, I couldn't come up or down the stairs. I couldn't cope and i'll admit I didn't see myself with any quality of life. I was clearly depressed. And that I was one thing I wish maybe was explored in the book because one thing I could clearly see was that just like me Will was severely depressed. And quite rightly in both our cases, had just experienced a massively life altering accident. Would things have gone down a different route if he had gotten help? Maybe but at the same time not. Because as much as getting help has helped me, there are days that are tough, not just because of my elbow but because of my disability as a whole. I'm not saying being disabled is bright and breezy, its not. But I am happy most of the time. Dark moments are dark but the good times are good.
Some people have more dark moments than others. But at the end of the day who is anyone to tell people that choosing a path they wouldn't necessarily chose is wrong. It's almost a case of walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Everyone is different but everyones choices are valid and everyones opinions are valid. Everyones lives are valid and important and precious.

I hope you enjoyed or found this post interesting, I have been meaning to do it since I didn't go to the premiere and I did take inspiration from Sarah Janes video. Its a very cautious line, I when I first found out about the backlash against the movie and book, was really annoyed. Almost because it was being suggested all disabled people had an issue with it when I really loved the book and I probably am going to love the movie. So I've been trying to appropriately write my thoughts without offending anyone. Because thats not what I'm out to do. I'm just trying to put a different opinion out there but also acknowledge that we all have the right to our opinions. All opinions on this subject are right. 

Thank you for reading, I'm sure this will be run past my mum before I hit publish. I hope you haven't blacklisted my blog or youtube channel for my views! 
Thank you again, I'll be back with another book post next week.
Oh also I have a new video on my youtube, free promo, so heres the link - Youtube
And my next orphan black video will be up on friday!
Until next time
Sophie