BeautyCon - Is it too hyped up?

So I went to BeautyCon this weekend with my sister, Saturday 3rd December. We got the train literally as people were getting on the train after frantically running to the platform which was the other side of the station. I was breathless. I was sat for ten minutes on the train just catching my breath back after making that mad dash. I mean I was also exhausted because the day before I had a 5 hour rehearsal for the panto. Which is in less than 3 weeks now! Argh!
We got a taxi from kings cross to Olympia where it was being held. Cabbit are my favourites to use. They always offer really good prices, you can book your return as well. Which can make it cheaper. Their drivers are really nice, the cars are nice and they give you the option of taking things like luggage, foldable wheelchairs and well anything you could think of needing.
So we get to Olympia and there was a few people milling about and we thought we were 15 minutes early but we were allowed in. So we got our wristbands and goody bags and then we headed into the lift down to the event. It was really weird to be back and it be completely different to comic con.
So when we got to the place where it was being held in, there was a lot of empty space. There was about 5 stands and then go round the corner and there were about 10 stands. Less than I thought there was going to be.

Really I thought there would be more. Because we went around once and we were quite disappointed because a lot of the things on display you couldn't actually buy. A lot of the stands where just there with a lot of mirrors. There was only 5 stalls that you could actually get something from. No freebies and the goodie bags were hardly stuffed as it says on their website.

So I went and bought two brushes from a stand called Peach And Pearl, I was actually going to get 3 brushes but they came to £30 and I only brought £30 in cash because we were going shopping in Oxford Street afterwards. And I have a lot of brushes anyway. So I bought two brushes, one i'm not too sure whether to use it for eyes or concealer. Probably going to use it for my eyes. Then I got a small rounded crease brush.

The two brushes I bought. They do look really pretty. I have yet to actually use them.

Then we went and had another look round and got in the queue for beauty bay, who had one of the biggest queues of the whole thing. We were in the queue for about half an hour during that time my sister pointed out a youtube person who was presenting for something. Whilst we waited they ran out of one of the morphe pallets, which was what I wanted to buy. The morphe pallets for the amount of shades in the palette, for £20 is a bargain. But they had 3 different pallets so I had no idea which one to buy. So when we finally got to the top of the queue the lady said they had found more of the pallets they thought they had run out of. The Morphe 305. So the lady explained to me the difference in the pallets, which now makes me feel kind of stupid for not knowing. The morphe 305 is a mix of matte and glitter shimmer shades. The morphe 305 S is all glitter shimmer shades, hence the S in the name. And the morphe 305 M is you guessed it, made up of all matte shades. I can't believe I didn't twig that. I also bought a small pink z pallete and a makeup geek eyeshadow, I can't remember the name but its a baby pink shimmer shade. It looks really pretty on, is so pigmented and has fast become one of my new favourite eyeshadows.

I don't know why the photo went like that but the Makeup Geek eyeshadow in the Z pallete and my morphe pallete, all in a BeautyBay bag. 

My Morphe pallete

So then we had another look round but I was pretty worn out after the queue so I went to sit down whilst my sister had another look round.

One thing Beautycon could do better is accessibility, all the stands had lipped steps up. Which until you have a cane or something that makes things like that a ginormous pain in the backside. Also the seating, as my sister got the social package we were allowed in the vip seating. Turns out though when we went to ask about going into there, you couldn't access it until 1pm. Which makes things difficult for me if I can't sit down for a minute.
The seating for everyone was a couple of tables which were mainly occupied and some bar height tables with stools. I struggle with stools because they have no backs or if they do, they are too unstable for me. I cant relax on them because I have to concentrate on balancing on it. There was no easy seating.
Now I don't know whether everybody agrees with this but whenever I have gone to a big event and they realise I'm disabled they normally let me in the front of the queue. Queuing that long wiped me out. I'm not saying they should have let me get to the front because people had queued before me and quite rightly were in front, but maybe let me sit whilst I waited or a number ticket thing so when your number is called your next.
Also when I contacted them about disabled access and carer tickets I was told they don't do them but to contact the company directly. Which I think is a bit ridiculous, the tickets are quite expensive, to be paying the same price for someone who doesn't want to go but just needs support from that person.

My sister was hoping to meet some of her favourite youtubers, one of those being Saffron Barker but we soon found out through some twitter stalking that her meet and greet wasnt going to be until 4pm. I mean thats another thing that I found was insane that they weren't doing. Some visible lineup. A schedule of who's on and when. Especially for the people that don't have twitter or do but can't because mobile data and all that. It seemed bizarre to me that there wasnt. Especially after the last event I went to at olympia, Yalc and Comic Con, timetables where everywhere and there was clear signage and staff to help you.

My sister then came back looking quite disheartened so I said to her ' I know you want to meet her but she's not on until 4 and even then theres no guarantee you'll meet her.' It would be different if there was something to do until 4pm, it was about 1:30pm, but there wasnt anything that after a first look was worth staying for. So we left and got an uber to victoria secrets on  Mayfair. I think my sister also thought it was kind of unfair that all these youtubers got things free, had more things to do. Which I kind of see, because really what was there to do for everyone else. Its fine giving guests goody bags and things like that but offer something on par for everyone who paid to attend. I think last years event was better because there was more to do and interact with. More brands that you could buy from * I'm talking to you real techniques, all I wanted was a sponge!!* Hahah!

So we went to victorias secret, which was probably the busiest shop I've ever been to. I mean who knew underwear could be so popular. I brought a few bits in there and pink. I got the softest jumper and jogging bottoms ever. They're my outfit to go over and under my dress for the panto. But I realised that the amount I spent, although quite expensive, was quite tame considering we overheard one of the cashiers read out a total of £900. I mean £900 on underwear!! But I must say the lady in Victoria's secret who helped us was lovely, I cant remember her name but she was one of the only people to help me. Since Victoria's Secret was crammed with people actually finding what I wanted was really hard, well just walking around was hard, and I had people slightly pushing me and someone actually psychically kind of moved me and everyone stepped over my cane. I mean disabled people need underwear too! But this lovely lady came and asked me what I wanted and brought back quite a few options. Which I really appreciated. I remember my sister talking to her and saying everyone just kind of looked at me and didnt help and the lady said how she knew someone who had epilepsy and the amount of stares they got when they had a seizure in public.  And then the till was a nightmare, first we couldn't find and we asked someone, who let me say was a bit rude. Then when we got to the till, it was the narrowest aisle I have ever seen. It was one of those 'well this shop clearly is not open to everyone' because it really felt that way. But I don't care if I'm not their target market, everyone deserves to buy and shop where they want. Like I said disabled people want to have nice underwear as much as anyone else. We have a right to feel sexy, pretty, confident, we're allowed to feel good about ourselves.

Obviously I'm not going to take a picture of everything I brought in Victorias Secret  but I bought this jumper
and jogging bottoms and they are one of the best purchases I've ever made! 

I got them a size bigger so they could be quite loose.

Speaking of Uber as someone who has never used them before this, I found they were really good as I could track where it was and how far away it was. But at the same time I found as someone who doesn't really know London and doesn't know my way around London, if the taxi couldn't reach me, which happened on multiple occasions during the day I had to ring the drivers and have them direct me to where they were. Which I think if you are like me and are going as a tourist to London bear that in mind. But I also know that Uber can, although cheap, be very hit and miss.

All the shopping bags which all fit in the beauty con bag,

Then we got another uber to selfridges, we didn't go in, but I think we came out the wrong side of oxford street. We tried to find mcdonalds on oxford street and followed a map on my phone but turned out we missed it because it was down a little road on the other side of the road. So we decided to just go back to the train station and go to mac at st pancras and the new urban decay store in kings cross. I love them two stores because they have everything that a normal mac and urban decay store would have but smaller. I would definitely recommend them especially the new urban decay store. The staff are lovely, thats the second time I've gone into the st pancras store and the staff have always been lovely to me, and the store itself is well set out and spacious. Then we got a pret cheese and tomato croissant, which I love because it tastes like pizza. Then we got the train home.
When we got to our station, my mum picked us up and we dropped my sister home. When we got home I did buy myself a takeaway because I hadn't had anything to eat all day.

Must say that now there is a urban decay in kings cross I may be
making a few trips into there when I'm passing through!

All the things in the beauty con bag, on the website it said it would be stuffed but I wouldn't say it was stuffed, not even filled really. I am grateful for my sister inviting me but it was a bit of let down. More for her than me because she was really looking forward to it. The eye pencil from Pixie though is gorgeous. 

Overall I had a nice day but beauty con itself was a let down. If we had just arranged to go to beauty con it might have been a let down of a day. If we had known we would have gone later and stayed longer. I think we might go somewhere else next time. I did say about the clothes show or imats. But we'll see. By the way I did end up getting the sponges I wanted when I went shopping with my mum a few days afterwards!
Thanks for reading,
Sorry it was so late! As you can tell I wrote this in December and only just now remembered it!
Until next time,
Sophie

Me Before You : The Movie Review

So I went to see Me Before You. As you know especially if you read my piece on the controversy this movie has stirred up, that I am a massive fan of this book and I don't necessarily agree with the criticism this movie is getting. Especially since the book was released a couple of years ago with non of this commotion. But I digress, this is my review of the movie. 

So I went to the cinema with my mum to see this movie, we go see all the cheery movies we do. I mean getting to the cinema was a bit of a palava because our most local cinema is shut for renovations so that meant we had to go to the next nearest cinema. Which I haven't been to in years but they two have been having renovations. But it was all very confusing, gone are the screens that tell you  what screenings are where and when. Gone also is the ticket desk which is normally where I would go to buy my tickets. This time I pre booked my tickets and I had no idea what to do with them and where to go. It wasnt clearly signposted. I mean thank goodness my mum comes with me everywhere because other I would have had no clue what to do. But eventually we sorted the ticket business out and headed to the screening. 

Now this movie was probably one of the best book to movie adaptions I have seen. There was certain plot points in the book that did get cut. The support group and Louisas back story were two of those edits. I don't think it affected it too much. Especially in the case of Louisa's back story, her sexual assault/rape, whilst I enjoyed that element because it explained things like Louisa's dress sense and her contentness in her life. I think maybe if it had been included it could of changed the tone of the film. I think the film was not a joyful film but a film to make you appreciate life. It was quite a heavy movie without it so adding it in could have made it too much. The plot point I do wish they had included was the support group. Not necessarily because it changed the film, the movie flowed without it, but because then people who criticise the movie for its disability portrayal couldn't say they didn't have both sides of the assisted suicide conversation.

Now I want to give a special shout out to Sam Claflin. I found his portrayal of Will Traynor a really great one. I pictured him this with razor sharp wit, acerbic tongue, sarcastic with a dark humour. I feel Sam Claflin brought this. His posture as Will I found fascinating, he didn't just half do it, he full on put his all into it. I read numerous articles where he said he researched into it and how to portray it as honestly and as real as possible. I really applaud Sam Claflin. I feel he really fit the role. 

Louisa Clark, aw she is such a lovely character who is just like an ordinary girl. Her charisma and charm. Her character is one of those characters that you just gravitate towards. I feel Emilia Clarke portrayed her perfectly. She adds a spark to Lou and empathy which I think is critical to Louisa.

Lou and Treenas sisterly relationship was lovely, obviously it didn't go deep into it like they do in the book but I think it again, might have brought a different element to the film. I loved seeing their friendship and how they looked after each other. Especially the scene when Treena drops Lou off at the airport when she goes to Switzerland. It was a real moment of 'I will stick by your decision, no matter what I think.' 

In the book I wasn't a fan of Will's parents, especially Mr Traynor. I like how they cut out Mr Traynors affair. I found that apart from Mrs Traynors chapter, they were both quite cold after everything with Will. It left them quite cold. Whereas in the film, they were still cold, but they had this element of humanity about them that I didn't get in the book. 

Oh the restaurant scene, it was one of my favourites in the book and its one of my favourites in the movie. The lines, the way it was set. I loved it. I mean the humour in this movie was great, I mean apart from the end it wasn't this depressing movie that people may think it is. I mean I do think some of the humour was a bit lost on the audience. Like some of the scenes were funny, but funny in the sense that its real life. If that makes sense. Or that this is what people portray disabled people like that. So I think some of that was lost on the non disabled audience. Like in the background of a lot of the scenes at the Traynor house was a shower chair. Like that is big, although not in use, its something you don't see in movies. It was a step in the right direction for me, that things like that are becoming normal. As someone who has used bath boards and chairs to get you in and out the bath it was nice to see. We never would have seen that just a few years ago!

Thats what I think this movie did best, that although Will's choice in the end is heartbreaking, the movie didn't dwell on that. Instead they highlighted all the good things, but also how much Will's life had changed and how in his eyes his quality of life had dramatically changed. They showed that whilst it wasn't his friends and families choice, they went along with it because it was his choice, his choice in his life which he doesn't have much control over. 

I feel the end scenes where handled beautifully, they didn't have any scenes of Will during the assisted suicide or of him dying which I think was a good choice. It was just beautifully handled. Sensitively handled. 
And then that scene with Lou in Paris was exactly like in the book and the 'live boldly just live' line was bittersweet. 

I really loved the soundtrack as well, the music just fit the movie to a tee. From X Ambassadors 'Unsteady' which I loved to the 1975 'The Sound'. All the songs just magically fit in with the movie.

All in all this movie is probably one of the best book to movie adaptions, apart from the support group, I didn't really miss the parts from the book they omitted. I recommend you go watch this movie, you might be surprised. I didn't end up crying , my mum did though. I really enjoyed this movie and if you do go watch this I recommend tissues!

So this was my review of Me Before You. Have you seen the movie, did you enjoy it? 
Hope you are well.
Until next time 
Sophie

Me Before You - A conversation on the controversy

Hi I'm back and you're probably expecting a premiere post about the Me Before You premiere. But I didn't go. Partly because I wasn't up for it, like I didn't feel like going. But also I didn't want to go partly due to the controversy that has sparked up in light of this movie and the issues it broaches. I didn't want to go because as a disabled person myself I kind of doubted myself. I saw that there was a protest at the premiere, it was right next to the disabled pen as I saw some of my friends in the pictures from the premiere. I didn't want to be associated with it. Not in a bad way but because I just wanted to enjoy myself at the premiere.  I didn't know whether I should go, and if it was right for me to be a fan of the book, because so many people hated it. if that makes sense.


But yes I kind of had strong feelings about the issues it brings up. Now I just want to say I understand not everyone shares my views, just like I may not agree with your views. So in fairness to everyone, if you disagree maybe just stop reading. I don't want to alienate or offend anyone. Just know there will be a less controversial post, about books up next week. Or if you are new to my blog but don't want to read this, I have lots more that you may enjoy -

So another quick note, I watched a video on this topic by Sarah Jane who is a booktuber and I thought the points she brought up were very true. So heres the link to that video, I am going to be referencing a lot of the points she mentioned as well.

As a disabled person I find this issue a very relevant and close to home issue. I am visually impaired and have physical disabilities, I do use a wheelchair but I am not confined to my wheelchair. I have been debating this post because it is an issue that is quite controversial. And I don't want to put myself out there incase of a backlash if that makes sense.
 But this book has multiple points of contention and I want to put my point out there. I am going to go over each of the points that have arose issues.

So the story follows a man named Will, who 2 years prior was in a motorbike accident and became a quadriplegic. And Lou who is hired as his carer. I'm sure if you know about the controversy this movie and book has stirred up you may be familiar with either the book or the film. I have read a lot on peoples opinions on this and with things like the highly shared Huffington Post and Telegraph article and what kind of bugged me the most was that some hadn't even seemed to read the book. I know not everyone is going to enjoy the book but I feel like if you haven't even tried to read the book how can you judge it fairly. if that makes sense. Like its alright to say after trying the book these are my opinions but its a bit different if you haven't because you haven't got the full picture if that makes sense. Please don't hate me for that opinion!

So first of all we have the issue of the casting of Sam Claflin as Will Trainer. First of all Sam Claflin from what I have seen of him in movies is a really good actor, I loved him in Love Rosie.
Is he disabled? No. And its kind of hard because there is a pivotal scene in the book that has to be in the movie of Will before his accident. So it makes it kind of difficult to have someone fully wheelchair bound to be cast as him. That is not to say this shouldn't be the push to have more awareness and to push the movie industry to hire disabled actors and to have stories involving disability. 
I know a lot of people have been saying well you wouldn't hire a white actor to play a black role, I counterpose that with people don't hire people with cancer to play people with cancer. If that makes sense. Its a touchy issue but I feel we need to push for it, push the movie industry for diverse characters. Black, White, Gay,Straight, disabled, alien.  But also I from what I've seen so far of the movie, Sam Claflin embodies the character well, and he is a very good Will Trainer.  And who is to say that by hiring a disabled actor that they will be suited to act the role. Hiring someone who is disabled doesn't necessarily make them a great actor if that makes sense. I hope that makes sense and doesn't offend anyone.

And for me the disabled aspects were the parts of this book I really loved. Like when Lou was pointing out how inaccessible places are. Because thats true. A lot of places are inaccessible. Maybe having it highlighted on the big screen might give places the push to make everywhere accessible to everyone. It kind of disheartened me when I saw people didn't seem to notice that aspect. Because quite frankly that is a big bug bare to me as a disabled person that places I want to go are not accessible so I was a little surprised when fellow disabled people missed that point out. Or that people either stare at you in pity or in disgust. Not so much when I'm in my wheelchair do they stare but when I'm using my long cane the stares are unbelievable. You have the pity ones like they think its such a shame. Or I have those one that just stare in disgust like i've just sprouted a third eye. Which I'd like to point out would not make me see any better! So I hope again having it highlighted would challenge people to acknowledge that and maybe think twice. Then again I did have this women, while I was out with my dad say to him 'she's so pretty', like I could neither hear nor see. Or that its going to boost my confidence. No its just condescending, I am 18 years old I am fully aware of what your saying. Im not a pet dog or a baby. 
Sorry that really annoyed me, that was the first time something like that had happened. 
Another thing that I felt was a sore point was the physical romance between Lou and Will. Basically they don't have sex, and its weird because this is not what the story is about. If that makes sense. When they admit they love each other, its quite fraught as Lou knows Will is not changing his mind. So it never crosses either of their minds. Its not suggesting that neither of them doesn't want to but at that point in the story there is other things on each of their minds if that makes sense. And also sex is very intimate so for both of them that might be too far, because of Wills final decision. It just might be a way of protecting each other from that heartbreak

 Now onto the more sensitive topic, and I am very afraid about posting this because it is such a decisive subject. Assisted Suicide. 
Now this book, if you viewed it as an opinion on disability and assisted suicide you could view it as quite damaging, but for me I don't see it as an opinion. Its about a persons right to chose. Not the whole disabled community's right to chose. Its really about one mans right to chose. His right to chose how he lives, his wishes. Despite how much someone may love him.
 Who are we to say that be it fictional or real that they don't have that right. Because in the case of this book and movie everyones opinion is valid. Everyone has their right to their opinion and its not a wrong opinion but in that opinion we have to be acknowledge this is quite a sensitive subject. Again its not speaking for everyone, one persons choices are not everyones. Its like the scene in the book where when Will goes to Switzerland, Lou talks to her support group who have similar disabilities to Will who tell her its his choice but its not their choice, they don't think down that route if that makes sense. 
In Sarah Janes video she also mention what would the reaction be if the story ended up with Lou having changed Wills mind.
And I think that if the story had gone down the road of Will changing his mind that could be damaging for the exact opposite reasons. It would suggest that, yes you are not able to walk or that your health is poor because that doesn't matter because as long as you are loved its fine. That if you love someone enough they will change their mind. Which is damaging to people who contemplate assisted suicide because it suggests they simply weren't loved enough. Which is just as damaging.

I frankly really enjoyed the book and I have booked my tickets to see the movie. I don't feel this movie is trying to say being disabled is a burden and that disabled people are better off dead. I feel its a story about living the life you want. But also the ability to chose. One mans right to chose. I mean who is anyone to say that you don't have a right to chose. 

One final thing that I guess you could say kind of annoyed me was the difference in reaction to this compared to something like The Fault in Our Stars or Now is Good. Because I found some of the portrayals of cancer in modern day films to be quite poor and un informed. Like in The fault in our stars, there is a scene where she says she is going for an MRI but she's in a CT scanner. It just bugged me because why label something that it isn't. I know MRI's are magnetic and probably not suitable to film in a movie for various reasons but just call it what it is then? Ive had numerous CTs and MRI's.
It just bugged me that some of the portrayals were not exactly lifelike. 
I guess one of the issues that need to be tackled is the subject of disability and the lack of research in film and tv. If you can't get someone with either a disability or history of cancer or an insight into it, at least do your research into it to make it believable. Because I have seen people talking about other movies and tv shows saying how the portrayal is not correct even if they have an actor with that disability. I think its not just about hiring an actor with disabilities its about making sure you  have the correct research and you thoroughly research things like if you have a disability or an illness, to get perspective. That is also very important. I don't understand why this film is being singled out, we should be tackling it as a whole. All films and tv with an element of disability and illness that are not exactly correct. 
I also see it as a case of if you see things you don't agree with change it. You don't see disability being represented correctly change that. Write a book, Write a film, Change perceptions. 
I mean I know its not as simple as that but that is one step to changing things, use your experience.

I also understand that assisted suicide is not everyones cup of tea per se but when I broke my elbow I became stuck. Not that I was very independent before, but all that I could do before was wiped away. I couldn't get dressed and I still struggle, I can't write for more than 5 minutes, I couldn't come up or down the stairs. I couldn't cope and i'll admit I didn't see myself with any quality of life. I was clearly depressed. And that I was one thing I wish maybe was explored in the book because one thing I could clearly see was that just like me Will was severely depressed. And quite rightly in both our cases, had just experienced a massively life altering accident. Would things have gone down a different route if he had gotten help? Maybe but at the same time not. Because as much as getting help has helped me, there are days that are tough, not just because of my elbow but because of my disability as a whole. I'm not saying being disabled is bright and breezy, its not. But I am happy most of the time. Dark moments are dark but the good times are good.
Some people have more dark moments than others. But at the end of the day who is anyone to tell people that choosing a path they wouldn't necessarily chose is wrong. It's almost a case of walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Everyone is different but everyones choices are valid and everyones opinions are valid. Everyones lives are valid and important and precious.

I hope you enjoyed or found this post interesting, I have been meaning to do it since I didn't go to the premiere and I did take inspiration from Sarah Janes video. Its a very cautious line, I when I first found out about the backlash against the movie and book, was really annoyed. Almost because it was being suggested all disabled people had an issue with it when I really loved the book and I probably am going to love the movie. So I've been trying to appropriately write my thoughts without offending anyone. Because thats not what I'm out to do. I'm just trying to put a different opinion out there but also acknowledge that we all have the right to our opinions. All opinions on this subject are right. 

Thank you for reading, I'm sure this will be run past my mum before I hit publish. I hope you haven't blacklisted my blog or youtube channel for my views! 
Thank you again, I'll be back with another book post next week.
Oh also I have a new video on my youtube, free promo, so heres the link - Youtube
And my next orphan black video will be up on friday!
Until next time
Sophie